Just trying to make it...

I'm in a state of chaos at the moment...

I raised three children and work full time...

Right now, I couldn't tell you how I did it...

Why? If you've ever felt like you've been hit by a Mack truck...maybe, just maybe you'll understand how I feel...I feel this way most of the time...never saw that truck coming

Don't ever expect me to jump out of bed...for me it's a roll out of bed slowly...when I need to set the alarm to get up by a certain time it gets set for an hour earlier...that way I can be up when I need to

Energy...I remember the days I did jump out of bed and didn't stop moving until very late...not now...there is not energy...

There have been times when I've been asked to go somewhere or participate in something...I've missed so many things due to lack of energy and pain.

I worked as a waitress for a short time...lately it was suggested that perhaps I could find another job waiting tables...I asked if they had stock in Aleve...when I waitressed it was usually a four hour shift...I'd take two to four aleve before the shift and another two to four a couple hours later and two or three at the end of the shift so I could drive home...I'd be in so much pain that that was the only way I could make it...

I still take aleve...I couldn't make it through a day without it

So please listen...if you want me to go somewhere with you or go visiting or shopping...please try to understand when I have to decline...it's not that I don't want to...it's just that I don't want to burden you with the way I have to make it through a day

When we go shopping I'm fortunate if I can make it to more than one store...fortunately my hubby does the grocery shopping...and if I'm having a good day I may go with him

I was very lucky that for three nights I was able to sleep...but then last night...I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open...but I couldn't get to sleep until 6 a.m. ~ so you see if you happen to come to my house and I'm still in my jammies...I probably hadn't been up very long or perhaps I haven't been to sleep yet

I have to plan things out...I go knitting on Tuesday evenings so Monday from noon on and Tuesday day...I have to rest...if I don't there won't be enough energy to make it through the two hours on Tuesday evening...the same is true for Monday and Thursday mornings when I go knit with friends

My husband likes to walk in the evening...he'll ask if I want to join and I do most of the time...I only wish I could join him all the time

I appreciate my family and friends who understand this horrible 'thing' that has taken over my body and my life...you are the best anyone could ask for

Now some of you may ask why the doctor doesn't give me prescriptions for the pain ... hmmm...good question

NO INSURANCE means no doctor visits unless I have the cash to pay for the doctor visit, any tests that he may feel the need to run, and the prescription(s)...so if you have an extra couple thousand dollars sitting around...I'll go to the doctor...if you have health insurance appreciate it as it would cost me over $600.00 a month for coverage and that if I could find a company to cover me

If you're talking to me and it seems that I've 'wandered off'...I'm sorry...just means that the fog has hit my brain...

Today I haven't the energy to even pick up my knitting to knit a stitch let alone a row...and I have to figure how I'm going to make it from the craft room to the shower

I'm wishing each and everyone of you a pain free healthy day